Reflection #3

Chapter 8
It is important for children to have at least one friend. The book says that without a best friend, a child is more likely to be victimized, lonely, less able to initiate play with peers, suffer academically because of their negative attitude towards school, and miss out on practicing important social skills. As an adult, they are more likely to suffer from depression, mental illnesses, heart disease and hypertension. They are also at a greater risk of suicide. It is so important to help children develop quality relationships with their peers. They don’t need thirty best friends, but at least one true peer friendship.
Being able to form a friendship is related to being able to regulate and express their emotions. Early interaction with adults set a foundation with children for what they expect interactions to be like with their peers. It is important for adults to set a positive example or else children will come to expect negative interactions with their peers and be less likely to want to interact.
Chapter 9
I think limited transitions are a good idea to implement when working with young children. When changing from one setting to another, or from one subject to another. You can’t always expect children to sit patiently and wait between activities. The book says that there is an increase in the number of interaction problems between children (and adults and children) during group transitions. They get confused about how to act when one activity is over and another begins. Things can get rowdy. It is good to limit the number of transitions, or try to steer towards individual instead of group transitions. If you do use group transitions, implement songs and regular routines and so children will focus and know what to expect.
When adults offer choices to children, they feel good about themselves. It helps to boost their confidence in their own decision making. They are more likely to “own” a decision that they make for themselves, and less likely to resent the consequences. They are happier if they have taken part in decision making rather than having an adult choose for them.
Chapter 10
The Four R’s (Reflect, React, Reason, and Rule), give an excellent template for expressing personal messages. It is generally ineffective to tell a child not to do something without explaining why they shouldn’t be doing whatever it is. Adults sometimes assume that children automatically know why we’re telling them to do something such as, “don’t run”. We need to explain why they shouldn’t be doing so by explaining what negative effects could happen from their behavior. “Carlene, I see that you are running in the halls. It makes me worried that you will fall and get hurt. We don’t run in the halls at school.” Breaking it down like that gets the message across without confusing the child.
Positive personal messages are a way of stepping up the generic, “good job”, and giving it meaning. They offer a more direct way for adults to tell children what they think about children’s appropriate behavior. Positive personal messages should lead to effective praise statements. Don’t just say you are pleased; say why you are pleased and how their actions affected you personally and positively. Children should know that the adults in their life are sources of approval as well as correction.

Blog Reflection #2

Chapter 4:

This chapter on verbal communication was awesome! However, it made me realize how many things I am doing wrong! Kind of sad, but at least I'm learning, right?

1. When giving praise to children, you don't want to overdo or underdo it. You also don't want to make judgemental statements such as, "That is a beautiful drawing." I do that ALL the time! I learned that the best type of praise to give is comments that are reflections or a simple informational statement. There should be no reference to your own feelings or evaluate the child in any way. Sometimes I still accidentally give "improper praise", but the book recommends that when this happens, the adult should just stop talking and refocus on what the child is actually doing.
2. Reflection statements are brilliant. They seem to keep the conversation going, yet they act as an appropriate conversation ender as well. They allow children to get their point across without an adult intruding with their own thoughts and taking over the conversation.

Chapter 5:

1. I loved that the book pointed out the fact that toddlers and preschoolers are only capable of feeling one emotion at a time. They're completely angry or completely pleased. It is so true. Around five or six they can feel more than one emotion, but they must be from the same cluster. From about eight to eleven they can fell contrasting emotions about the same topic, but not at the same time. My daughters are three and five years old, and keeping this information in mind, I feel like I am better able to understand what they are feeling and how to approach different topics and situations.
2. It is important to realize that not everyone feels the same way about something. Something that is exciting to one person, may be terrifying to another. For example, I'm deathly afraid of spiders. My sister, on the other hand, collected them and kept them in a jar. It was awful! The mind set of, "if I can handle it, you can handle it", is not something to be used when dealing with children... or adults, for that matter.

Chapter 6

This is my favorite chapter thus far. My five year old tends to stress about situations and it gave me some good advice on how to help her handle her stress. At the same time though, it made me feel like a terrible mother because I'm a divorced, single parent, and I am by no means wealthy! The book goes on and on about how adversely that affects a child, and it made me want to cry! Rather than selecting two topics from the chapter, I'd like to just make a list of all the things that struck me.

• We must be able to understand that children are dealing with stressors while being extremely limited in resources and experience.
• People aren't born with coping skills and it is an adult's job to help children to acquire positive stress management techniques before they learn negative coping patterns.
• Perception of an event as a stressor happens when a demand is greater than their resources to handle it.
• Tasks given to children must be developmentally appropriate, not just age appropriate.
• Adults should see the stressor through the child's eyes.
• A child needs to know that someone understands and cares. Keep your own behavior and emotions in control.
• Verbalize your perception of the situation to check for accuracy.
• Read children's books that depict stressful situations.
• Talk about events (without trying to scare the child) and discuss ways people coped. Focus on the positive and so they might someday, too.
• Problems occur when you see only the irritating behaviors in a child, not the child's distress. Remember that this is the child's way of coping and that change doesn't happen overnight.
• Use patience, consistency, and firmness.
• Don't dictate "appropriate" responses.
• Don't tell the child how to feel, but help them develop constructive ways of making their feelings known.

Chapter 7

1. I enjoyed reading about the fantasizer and the pragmatist, because it reminded me of my own children. I imagine that in a preschool setting you could run into problems if you do not recognize these different characteristics in children. When interrupted, the pragmatist will simply stop and comply with an adult's request. The fantasizer can have a difficult time leaving fantasy mode. Be patient with this and give them a little transition time.
2. Teachers are often focused so much on literacy and core curriculum that they don't give their students enough play time. Something that the book pointed out could be useful to a teacher trying to find a balance. Use literacy materials in play centers. Use blueprints of building in block areas, and grocery list note pads in kitchen areas as well as cookbooks. There are many things that can be incorporated into children's play that can also enhance literacy.