Reflection #3

Chapter 8
It is important for children to have at least one friend. The book says that without a best friend, a child is more likely to be victimized, lonely, less able to initiate play with peers, suffer academically because of their negative attitude towards school, and miss out on practicing important social skills. As an adult, they are more likely to suffer from depression, mental illnesses, heart disease and hypertension. They are also at a greater risk of suicide. It is so important to help children develop quality relationships with their peers. They don’t need thirty best friends, but at least one true peer friendship.
Being able to form a friendship is related to being able to regulate and express their emotions. Early interaction with adults set a foundation with children for what they expect interactions to be like with their peers. It is important for adults to set a positive example or else children will come to expect negative interactions with their peers and be less likely to want to interact.
Chapter 9
I think limited transitions are a good idea to implement when working with young children. When changing from one setting to another, or from one subject to another. You can’t always expect children to sit patiently and wait between activities. The book says that there is an increase in the number of interaction problems between children (and adults and children) during group transitions. They get confused about how to act when one activity is over and another begins. Things can get rowdy. It is good to limit the number of transitions, or try to steer towards individual instead of group transitions. If you do use group transitions, implement songs and regular routines and so children will focus and know what to expect.
When adults offer choices to children, they feel good about themselves. It helps to boost their confidence in their own decision making. They are more likely to “own” a decision that they make for themselves, and less likely to resent the consequences. They are happier if they have taken part in decision making rather than having an adult choose for them.
Chapter 10
The Four R’s (Reflect, React, Reason, and Rule), give an excellent template for expressing personal messages. It is generally ineffective to tell a child not to do something without explaining why they shouldn’t be doing whatever it is. Adults sometimes assume that children automatically know why we’re telling them to do something such as, “don’t run”. We need to explain why they shouldn’t be doing so by explaining what negative effects could happen from their behavior. “Carlene, I see that you are running in the halls. It makes me worried that you will fall and get hurt. We don’t run in the halls at school.” Breaking it down like that gets the message across without confusing the child.
Positive personal messages are a way of stepping up the generic, “good job”, and giving it meaning. They offer a more direct way for adults to tell children what they think about children’s appropriate behavior. Positive personal messages should lead to effective praise statements. Don’t just say you are pleased; say why you are pleased and how their actions affected you personally and positively. Children should know that the adults in their life are sources of approval as well as correction.